After the birth of a baby, many factors may contribute to changes in your sexual relationship. These may include:
- Exhaustion due to delivery, demands of a new baby and lack of sleep.
- Discomfort from an episiotomy or tear; this can last for several weeks or even months after stitches have dissolved.
- Discomfort from a Caesarean section incision.
- Lower estrogen levels in a breastfeeding mother may lead to less vaginal lubrication and therefore, dryness and tenderness during intercourse.
- Leaking of milk during lovemaking and orgasm may be pleasurable or annoying
- Distraction of a crying baby or thinking that the baby will cry.
- Less interest in sex in a mother who may feel that her needs for physical closeness are being met by the baby; she may feel more maternal and less sexual.
- Feelings of being less desirable due to weight gain, stretch marks or scars
- Fear on the part of a man of hurting his partner.
- Feelings, positive or negative, about the birth experience that can affect both partners.
What You Can Do:
- Discuss openly with your partner your feelings about resuming sexual activity.
- Plan times to make love when you are least likely to be interrupted and you are as rested as possible.
- If leaking milk bothers you, try nursing your baby just before lovemaking or simply wear a bra with breast pads.
- Start out by using alternate ways to show affection and express sexual feelings with hugs, kisses, caresses and massages.
- You can resume sexual intercourse when you are both ready and when bleeding has stopped and healing is complete.
- Positions in which you can control the depth of penetration (e.g. woman on top) may help you to relax.
- A cushion under your hips may reduce pressure on the tender area where there has been an episiotomy or tear.
- If you have had a Caesarean Section, positions that do not put pressure on the abdomen (e.g. lying side by side) are helpful.
- Using a water soluble lubricant such as Astroglide or KY Jelly on the penis and vagina and engaging in more prolonged, gentle foreplay may help with vaginal dryness
- Be patient. Your body has an amazing capacity for healing. However, if you are still experiencing pain six months after childbirth, it would be sensible to discuss this with your doctor.
REFERENCES
Bing, Elisabeth and Coleman, Libby. Making Love During Pregnancy. New York: Bantam Books, 1977.
Kitzinger, Sheila. Woman’s Experience of Sex. New York: G.P. Putman’s Sons, 1983.
Pitman, Teresa. "Mother and Lover: Sexuality and Childbirth". Great Expectations. October, 1986.
Sexuality During Pregnancy and After the Baby; - pamphlet produced by Prenatal & Parenthood Education Services - Metropolitan Toronto, 1987.
Urang, Sally. "Patient Guide: Sex After Childbirth". Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality. January, 1991.
Adapted from the former Muskoka- Parry Sound Health Unit. July 2005
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